I have lived in my current house for just over one year and I have loved it, however I didnt like it when my neighbour started to get rowdy and she used to have loud late night lovemaking sessions with many different men. She is what you would call a trollop.

Anyway, when I am due to buy my next house there are many things I am going to seriously consider before jumping in wiuth both feet first (like I did when I bought my first house). Here is a list of the factors I am going to contemplate:

• what are the neighbours like?
• How thick are the walls?
• Is it close to the local pub so we can go and have a drink in the evenings or on weekends?
• What is the heating bill like?
• How far away is it from the city centre?
• Has it got water under the floor boards – have a proper survey carried out.
• It must have three or more bedrooms
• It must have an en suite in my master bedroom

What will your next house have to have?